I wrote a newsletter for the Grief Support Network 8 years ago that began with “Our Country is Grieving.”

It is hard to believe that we are here once again. Some of us are shaking our heads in disbelief, feeling helpless, frozen and defeated. Some of us are feeling fired up and ready to take action. Some of us feel indifferent or happy about the results. Regardless of what your beliefs are and who you voted for, we are on the brink of a massive and for some a terrifying change of what our country stands for and how we choose to support our citizens.

IIt is hard to find the words to accurately describe my own feelings - a deep pit in my belly and feeling of sadness and despair since the election. I feel not only my own grief but the grief of so many others who are crippled with fear for their own safety and wellbeing. There is an overwhelming amount of work to be done to build a more compassionate, supportive and inclusive country for ourselves and our children. There is action to be taken to create real and lasting change…

But, first we have to grieve.

The weight of collective grief is heavy and at times hard to breathe. It is hard to ignore or push aside. It has its way of crushing joy and covering up the sun. I find myself looking for the light. That has always been my way of moving through loss. To find the growth and goodness that comes out of life’s hardships. To feel the love that is inherent in loss. This situation feels harder to find the silver lining though, even though I am sure that it is there. Positive change happens when we remain in our hearts and lead with love. I am holding strong to this belief. I also know that grief needs to be felt in order to be released.

Just like personal loss, “we have to feel it, to heal it,“ but how do we feel this grief in our bodies, hearts and souls, without it breaking us apart in defeat? This is the question of our times. We have a right to feel angry or sad or any other emotion, but what do we do with it once we touch it, taste it and allow it to be fully felt and known by us? How do we manage it on top of our personal losses?

The grief I feel for this country piles on top of my personal grief. For some, the collision between personal and collective loss is just too much to bear. We all have a limit to our capacity to hold and metabolize our experiences of loss. Especially, if you are in an acute phase of grief it may be too much to tend to anyone except for yourself, and that is absolutely ok. It is more than ok, it is necessary for your own health and wellbeing.

So, how do we move through collective grief? I don’t have all of the answers to this, but I do know that love always wins and that our bodies are wise and compassionate teachers. What we can do is to hold each other, listen to each other, keep our hearts open (even if it hurts) and bring compassion, kindness and love to everyone and everything. We can think about those who have less than us and offer support and services if we have the capacity to do so. Our collective grief is an opportunity to put our arms around each other and keep dreaming and fighting for a better America. We have to talk about it and let it out in order to heal.

Here are a few simple, somatic tools that may help:

Create a Container for Your Grief
Set a timer for 15 minutes each day to be present with your feelings in a quiet, safe space. Allow yourself to experience the emotions and sensations that arise, and let them move through you—without needing to “fix” or “change” them. Afterward, engage in a grounding activity to bring you back into your day.
Connect with a Friend
Share your feelings with someone you trust. Sometimes, being witnessed is the first step to release.
Move Your Body Daily
Gentle movement can help ease the tension and heaviness that grief can bring to our bodies.
Create an Energetic Bubble of Protection
Visualize an energetic boundary around yourself. This practice can help create a sense of safety and support as you navigate the intensity of emotions around you..

Sometimes, we need to know the dark to better appreciate the light. I hold hope for our ability to move through this together, creating a more compassionate, inclusive future. Let’s keep our hearts open and stand in love and kindness for ourselves, for each other, and for a brighter tomorrow.

From my heart to yours,
Wendy